To Get the 411 on the Stars, Climb Aboard a Newport Harbor Fun Zone Boat

I’ll tell you this — these Newport Harbor Fun Zone Boat Company captains are real namedroppers. For the past half hour, I’ve been sitting at the pointy end (that’s a nautical term) of this extravagant passenger boat as it cruises up and down Newport Harbor. And for the past half hour, all I’ve heard is, “John Wayne lived here, Shirley Temple spent her summers there, William Holden got drunk here, Nicolas Cage lived there for awhile until he found a naked man in his kitchen.” 
It’s fascinating stuff. I’m suffering from the guilty pleasure of listening to gossip. And there’s lots of good dirt here, sort of like what you’d expect to hear on one of those Hollywood movie star tours. Except this trip transports you by boat instead of bus, and the route takes you along the exclusive shoreline of Newport Harbor, a full 60 miles south of Tinseltown.

Fun Zone Boat Co. operates this liquid tour, taking visitors out on the water every hour on the hour every day of the week. Our skipper and tour guide on this particular trip is Reva, a licensed captain who drives up each workday from San Diego County to steer a boat and regale paying guests with tales of Newport Beach’s rich and famous. She’s tossing around the names of actors and entrepreneurs like she actually knows them.

Reva points to a pair of waterfront estates at the end of the Balboa Peninsula and lets us in on an outrageous family scandal. I crane my neck to see two huge residences separated from each other by a scant three feet. Reva tells us that a multi-story mansion once stood on the site, owned by razor baron King Gillette. When he died, his two sons fought bitterly over the property, finally settling matters by cutting the spectacular home in half. Why am I listening to this? Is this public knowledge? Is it even true? Tell me more!

Reva’s got a real gift for storytelling, which quickly becomes the highlight of the boat trip as she describes the history of the area, where waterfront lots on Balboa Island sold for less than $300 back in 1907. Vacant lots go for more than a million dollars today, and our skipper/narrator points out several estates that have sold recently for $20 million to $27 million.

We motor past the former home of Nicolas Cage, which was recently purchased by a Las Vegas casino and gas station owner. Cage sold the place shortly after confronting a naked man in his kitchen in the middle of the night. The man, garbed only in the actor’s leather jacket, was arrested, but Cage said he’d had enough and moved out of town. Cage got a record $35 million for the place. The nude burglar got jail time and a restraining order.

Our affable skipper steers our boat to the starboard side and says the huge yacht in front of us is the “Wild Goose”, a former WWII minesweeper that once belonged to actor John Wayne. She says he used to play cards onboard the 136-foot vessel with the likes of Bob Hope, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. Then she told the kids onboard that if they didn’t know who any of those men were, they should ask their mothers.

By now, Reva had dropped the names of a whole army of local notables, including Rock Hudson, Shirley McLaine, Joey Bishop, Debbie Reynolds, Edgar Bergen, and his famous daughter, Candice Bergen. There was Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, who met often on Bogey’s yacht in the harbor. Shirley Temple has a nice beach house in Peninsula Point, three houses over from the launch ramp. And actor James Cagney allegedly won Collins Island in a card game.

She also has some interesting stories about tiny Bay Island, off there on the port side. This super-exclusive, 24-home island is accessed by means of a footbridge and no cars or vehicles are allowed anywhere on the island. That means everything that comes onto the island has to be brought in on a handcart. Which makes new construction a little tedious, but the residents like the concept.

Speaking of the residents, there’s a rule on this small island that says you can’t move there unless you’re voted in by all of the neighbors. Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, for example, were endorsed by the residents. Sonny and Cher were not. Talk about getting voted off the island before you even get on the island. And this was decades before Survivor.

Getting the dirt on the famous and fabulously rich residents of Newport Harbor is definitely the entertainment portion of these narrated navigations. I’d tell you more, but it might ruin the trip for you. But these casual loops around the harbor always leave me with a sense of serenity. Maybe it’s the cool breezes that hit you every time you round an island and get to open water. Or it’s the sight of sailboats darting up and down the channel like small white birds. It could be the whiskered smiles of harbor seals and sea lions as they bask in the summer sun. And, of course, there’s the smell of suntan lotion, funnel cakes, and the salt air.

Whatever it is that lures me onto a harbor cruise on a regular basis, it’s certainly one of the best ways to spend a lazy spring or summer afternoon. And it’s not over when you step off the boat. There’s a Ferris wheel right in front of you, a carousel, arcade, shops and restaurants. That’s probably why it’s called the Fun Zone. It’s all part of why this is the best of all possible coasts.

Fun Facts:
Fun Zone Boat Company has three boats that take visitors on 45- or 90-minute tours every hour on the hour from 11am to 7pm every day except Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The fare for the 45-minute tours is $14 for adults, $11 for seniors and $7 for children. The 90-minute tour costs $19 for adults, $14 for seniors and $7 for children. Children under 5 ride free.

Reservations are recommended and can be obtained by calling 949-673-0240, or online at info@FunZoneBoats.com. For more information, visit funzoneboats.com. The dock is located on the Fun Zone Boardwalk at 600 Edgewater Place, Balboa.